When I was depressed, I would usually do the stupid things that change nothing, really. However, today I had some bewildering moments, as indeed I was very overwhelmed by the problems, but in some rather inexplicable ways, I was not able to have the same kind of emotions anymore.
When time gets really rough, I used to smoke a lot, take a walk on my own, with the tears falling down on my cheek, as I tried to give the motivation to myself again. Today, there was nothing which bore even a slight resemblance to that. I had a feeling of being profoundly indifferent, I couldn't care less, nor more about anything. Perhaps, I don't quite believe nor disbelieve in anything anymore, really. I reckon it is quite enjoyable to live in a limbo like this. Despite a definite state of confusion, but I reckon it is bearable, at least.