Friday, 3 June 2011

Over

It is finally over, yesterday I had my last exam paper. Alhamdulillah, I’m very happy that everything is finally done now. Though, there are some papers that I was really disappointed in, at least I’m confident that I won’t be failing any more module, like what happened in the last two years.

Watching BBC Panorama documentary yesterday about the mishandling of the people who have learning disabilities in a private care home, something got onto my mind. Disabilities, be it mentally, physically or emotionally is a huge thing that one has to accept, however hard thing might be.

Those people have grown to accept how they are born, and I must too. There’s really no point in getting worn out over those things. Result will come out on 29 June, graduation on 20 July. Whatever it is, I will accept and learn from any of mistakes.

Three years of uni life, so far has been really challenging for me. Three years of having academic results going down deep into the drain, and having a massive quarter-life life crisis that has been dragging me down into severe depression once in a while, every so often.

I’ll never know if I’ll be able to get over this crisis, let alone anything else. I used to smoke a lot when I’m utterly depressed, sometimes until the point that my throat gets really sore and that stops me from taking more.

It has been more than a month since I had my last cigarette, and I’m gaining a bit of weight. I’ll try to keep things that way, and thanks to my one dear friend who helped suggested the solutions to my crisis. So far, I think it is working, and I’ve not yet broken my promises to accept anything that I cannot possibly do nothing about, and only work hard for all other things. Honestly I think I owe you, for this one. Thanks a lot, again.

Indeed, I’m mentally disabled, now I’ve begun to accept the facts and proud of what I can possibly do with my life. No more fights & struggles, and hopefully no more severe depression. I am Alexander Supertramp, and I’m super f**king awesome, there is nothing I cannot do!!!

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