Sunday, 22 May 2011


For the past two or three days, I'd been lost in a limbo, trying to find the purpose of my life. Losing it affected me so much, because I just cannot bear living without one. Last night, after a long conversation with a friend, I was not convinced, still very much a pessimist.

I'm fairly certain that I can't be helped, extrapolating 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, etc into the future and the end result would've been the same. How do I know for sure, you may ask? Statistics, science and history all tell me the same thing, that I'm pretty much a f**ked up and helpless loser. And I don't believe in miracle, so that's out of question.

This morning when I woke up, then something got onto my mind. Although, there is nothing that I can do to change my life, I may still have the capacity to perhaps change someone else's. I can always help those who need what I can give.

I need an end reason, a purpose to stay working hard for I just cannot continue doing something when I know that I'm not gonna change anything for the better. Indeed, it is and always be true that I no longer able to help myself, but I will put my effort to help others. That's gonna be my philosophy of life from the time being. And hoping that, I will not again lose this one.  


  1. Relativism: any theory holding that criteria of judgment are relative, varying with individuals and their environments. 

    This is familiar, someone was elaborating this concept to me not too long ago. It's always better to look outward, to other people like you say, and every morning can only be a better day :D