In their hearts is a disease; and Allah has increased their disease and grievous is the penalty they (incur), because they are false (to themselves). (10) When it is said to them: "Make not mischief on the earth", they say: "Why, we only want to make peace!" (11) Of a surety, they are the ones who make mischief, but they realize (it) not. (12)
When it is said to them: "Believe as the others believe" they say: "Shall we believe as the fools believe?" Nay, of a surety they are the fools, but they do not know. (13) When they meet those who believe, they say: "We believe" but when they are alone with their evil ones they say: "We are really with you we; (were) only jesting. (14)
Allah will throw back their mockery on them and give them rope in their trespasses; so they will wander like blind ones (to and fro). (15) These are they who have bartered guidance for error: but their traffic is profitless, and they have lost true direction. (16)
Their similitude is that of a man who kindled a fire; when it lighted all around him, Allah took away their light and left them in utter darkness so they could not see. (17) Deaf, dumb, and blind, they will not return (to the path). (18)
Or (another similitude) is that of a rain-laden cloud from the sky; in it are zones of darkness, and thunder and lightning they press their fingers in their ears to keep out the stunning thunder-clap, the while they are in terror of death. But Allah is ever round the rejecters of Faith! (19)
The lightning all but snatches away their sight; every time the light (helps) them, they walk therein and when the darkness grows on them, they stand still. And if Allah willed, He could take away their faculty of hearing and seeing; for Allah hath power over all things. (20)
Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for still giving me another chance to do it all over again. There are still many things, that are gray in nature, ambiguous and not clear. But with Your guidance and help, nothing else will ever matter, nothing will ever be impossible and I shall never let anything dragging me down again. You are the only motive in my life, the only source of motivation for me to still be alive, for not wanting to be dead. You are the only One who is Eternal, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the worlds. With You alone, I rest all my fears and hopes. Please don't ever abandone me. Please.....For I can never live without You....
If Allah helps you, none can overcome you: if He forsakes you, who is there after that that can help you? In Allah, then, let believers put their trust.