Tuesday, 9 September 2014

Masters

Today was my first day of reading Masters of Economics at University of Malaya, and last Friday, 5 September 2014 was the third anniversary of me working in this company. I will be 25 years old this year and still have a long way ahead of me. 

So basically for this postgraduate degree, I will have to finish ten modules within two and a half years. The university allows the students to take a minimum of two semesters (one year) and a maximum of eight semesters (four years). I have decided to only take two modules each semester, to ensure that I won't be bogged down by everything that's falling on my shoulders. 

For the first semester, I had decided to take Advanced Macroeconomics and Advanced Microeconomics. The class today was on microeconomics while the one on Wednesdays will be on macroeconomics. 

It had been more than three years since I left Warwick University, and truth be told, I don't quite remember much of being taught there. I didn't take any dedicated microeconomics module there, and the first class today was a little overwhelming. Mostly the microeconomics module will be revolving around differentiation, differential equation, the application of calculus in microeconomics theory etc.  

I didn't have much problems in doing calculus for SPM and A Levels, so I think I have got a good foundation on that. Nonetheless, I still have some fears towards too many alphabets in mathematical expressions. I failed eight mathematics/statistics modules in my first two years, and I think the fear was mostly the reason. 

Previously, when I saw too many alphabets (x, y, z, α, β, γ, δ, ε, λ etc), my mind immediately went into crisis-mode. I was afraid of them, I thought that it would be impossible for me to easily understand them. 

Let's hope it's no longer the case this time around. Yosh! Ganbatte! 

Past

Not too long ago, probably six or seven years to be exact, many in my A Level college went crazy on blogging. Most people had a blog or two, writing about a variety of topics, ranging from their travel journals, to complains about life, or just random ramblings here and there.

Too bad, slowly over the years, in the second or third year of university, more and more of them started to stop writing. It has been a waste really, having started on something and just stopped it mid-way, not because they don't have anything to write, but probably they have grown out of it. 

Friends come and go, as everyone else. Closeness comes from mutual interaction, usually in person. Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are the more popular means these days, but I do crave to read what my friends are writing about their lives. Posts on Facebook tend to be short and less serious, while those on Twitter are even shorter than Facebook. Instagram meanwhile, as all of you may know, mostly for food photos, selfies and the likes.

To me, I see writing as a personal mark on somewhere. We live our day to day life and probably won't even remember what happen now, say in five years ahead. When I have got the time, I sometimes browse through the past posts of my own blog, and my friends, and reminisce over the past that won't come back. One day, we all will die and leave everything behind. At the very least, when our family and close friends miss our presence, they could still have something to read on and ponder upon.

History is fascinating, and to those who are reading this, do try to keep on writing again.  

Tuesday, 5 August 2014

Things

Unexpected things happen all the time, and sometimes they may be shockingly outrageous at worst, or still a surprise nonetheless at best. When we try to understand others, it makes sense that we would never be able to really get them 100%, as humanity as yet created a way for us to be in someone else's mind. 

Understanding is a never-ending process in progress. Another human is as complex as us. We try and fail, then we have to keep on trying, and never give up. 

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

One

The bottom of one's heart, could not been seen from outside. They can only see what we choose to let them see. From smile they see happiness, from tears they see sadness, from the shape of one's face, others see oneself.

There could never be a worse tragedy. Not something at this grand scale. When one truly see and feel, one attains something different from oneself.

Every man and woman is different. Every boy and girl is different from one another. For one man, one thing suits him. For another, another thing suits him. There was never any conventionality about anything.

Humanity strive on an orderly system of everything from the bottom to the top. There are cultural, religious or just purely bullshit consensus of one should act given a situation.

Whilst there is a definite need for specific codes, but they must have strong reasonings behind them.

When one willfully does something, one does with one's wholeheartedly desire to act. One does not do anything for the purpose of nothing.

One chooses, and one does. One loves, and one chooses to love. There is no compulsion in anything, but remember true love survives anything.

Times could be hard, challenging indeed. At all times one has never wavered. One has one and only motive. None others than to love you.

Thursday, 17 July 2014

Dream

Do you know what a lucid dream is?

And do you know how dream is supposed to be merely our subconscious connecting the dots, and giving us the answer?

We only dream of what we already know, or what we want to believe.

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

View

I think I have reached a certain stage where I realise that complaining and hoping are really useless. There are things out there that we want to change,  we want to believe in a better world, we want this and that to happen. But the thing is, talking, complaining, and even hoping would not do anything. 

We express our feeling about injustice in the world, killings of innocent civilians, thefts, rapes. But what really can we do from our position as an insignificant human amongst billions others?

The world is unfair, we have to play by its rules, by hook or crook, to achieve our ideals. 

Monday, 7 July 2014

How

So that's how we live our lives. No matter how deep and fatal the loss, no matter how important the thing that's stolen from us - that's snatched right out of our hands - even if we are left completely changed people with only the outer layer of skin from before, we continue to play out our lives this way, in silence. We draw ever nearer to our allotted span of time, bidding it farewell as it trails off behind. Repeating, often adroitly, the endless deeds of the everyday. Leaving behind a feeling of immeasurable emptiness.
Sputnik Sweetheart- Haruki Murakami

Sunday, 29 June 2014

Dream

Dream is a fascinating thing. I don't believe in illusions, dreams or hopes. Nevertheless, it's still nice to live in a fairy tale, once in a while, that is.

Saturday, 28 June 2014

Happiness

As with many other things in life, happiness is a feeling, a certain something that we all yearn to have.

All too often, we aim for the stars, only to find ourselves stranded on the moon. We know we can't reach that far, but we refuse to believe in what we know, and fall for what we feel.

To be rational, is to believe what is logical, realistic and sensible.

To be otherwise is futile, pointless and a waste of time.

Sunday, 15 June 2014

People

People are blind to the things they can't see. They believe in what they feel, but they are deaf to what others have to say in silence.

In whatever that you do, they'll be those who won't understand, will break you apart, and bring you down.

They say things to you, bad bad things.

Only if they know.

Only if.

Alhamdulillah, may Allah bless you always.